How Do I Get Around an Astrologically Inauspicious Date?
My surprising advice to a client who's dealing with family drama, wedding problems, and a difficult mother-in-law
Hi, I'm Juliana, a full-time Vedic astrologer. Subscribe for free to receive my monthly astrology forecasts and calendars. Upgrade to a paid subscription to receive all of my articles, including special astrology guides and more!
Click subscribe now to join our community!
Welcome to the third installment of my Astral Asks column!
In this reccurring column, I answer questions that I receive from clients. It's a chance to share the softer, more personal part of my work with you. Today, I'm tackling a difficult question about wedding plans and a future mother in-law (this is shared with permission, and I've changed certain details to protect the person's privacy):
Dear Juliana,
I am getting married next year. I want to have my reception at a beautiful estate in a rural area near my home. I've been dreaming about getting married there for years, and I don't want to have my wedding anywhere else.
The venue is only available for a couple of days next summer and fall. I asked my personal astrologer to look at these dates. She told me that the summer dates were auspicious, but the fall dates were not a good time for us to get married. I am a spiritual person, and it's very important for me to get married on a good date when my stars are aligned.
Unfortunately, my fiance's family would like me to choose one of the dates in the fall. My future mother-in-law is the one who is really pushing for a fall wedding. She says that the fall dates are less expensive, and it will be more convenient for my fiance's extended family to travel to the wedding at that time.
I've told her why I prefer the summer dates, and her response was not very kind. She doesn't believe in astrology, and she says that it's silly to schedule my wedding based on "superstitious nonsense." I would like to tell her that it's my wedding and my choice, but since my fiance's family is contributing to the cost of our celebration, I feel like I have to consider her wishes.
My fiance isn't as into astrology as I am, but he understands why the date matters to me. However, he has trouble standing up to his mother, and whenever the topic of the dates comes up, he changes the subject or says that we'll figure it out later.
We need to put down a deposit on the estate soon, and I don't know which date to book. Should I give in and marry during the fall or should I book one of the more auspicious days in the summer?
Sincerely,
Engaged and Uncertain
Dear Engaged and Uncertain,
I'm sorry that you're in this situation! Wedding planning is always stressful, and adding family conflicts to the mix makes everything more difficult. Hopefully, I can give you some advice that will make you feel a little better about everything.
First, I understand and appreciate your desire to marry on an auspicious date. In my professional work, I often determine favorable dates for weddings, major purchases, vacations, and other big life events. In Vedic astrology, the service of picking an auspicious date is called a Muhurta.
This practice can help remove potentially ill-fated karmic conditions in your birth chart. It is used to create success and good fortune for the event that is being performed. When you complete an action on an astrologically auspicious date, you are choosing an instant in time and space when the astral conditions are in nearly complete harmony with the cosmic stream of well-being.
In the context of your wedding, marrying on a good date can shift any potentially difficult karmic patterns for you and your future spouse. This will increase your chance of having a happy and successful marriage. It's a great sign that you want to begin this new part of your life on a constructive and harmonious note.
To help you achieve this goal, I would start by talking to your future husband about this issue. I know that you said conflict is hard for him, and I don't expect him to fight all of your battles for you, but when it comes to his family, it's very important that he supports you. You didn't mention how long you've been together, but if you don't know his family very well, it's even more important that he helps to mediate conflicts as you become more comfortable with your future in-laws.
This isn't going to be the only family conflict you encounter; during your marriage, you could potentially disagree about how to spend the holidays, where to live, and many other parts of life. It’s very important that you establish a good pattern for handling this type of problem now.
I would suggest telling him how you feel, and explaining that you need him to take a more active role in solving this scheduling issue. You can explain that the two of you are a team, and both members need to work together and stand up for each other. Hopefully, having this discussion can help you begin the next stage of your relationship on a stronger foundation.
I would also recommend having a discussion with your future mother-in-law. I know that this might be difficult, but again, this is going to be a significant relationship for the rest of your life, and she needs to learn how to treat you with kindness and respect.
You might say something like, "I know that you don't believe in astrology, and I respect your opinion about that. But I am a very spiritual person, and astrology means a lot to me. I'm not asking you to believe or follow astrological guidance, but I would like you to avoid saying negative or disparaging things about it when I'm around. I would like us to have a positive relationship, and to me, that involves respecting each other's beliefs."
As for when to have your wedding, I think that you have two main options. If you are set on marrying on one of the more expensive summer dates, you could find ways to cover the additional cost yourself.
Maybe you could save money on other aspects of the wedding (do you really need to give wedding favors?), or perhaps you and your fiance could save up by cutting costs in other parts of your life. You might feel better about choosing an auspicious summer date if you don't have to ask your future in-laws to cover any additional costs.
That said, if you aren't able to raise the funds to marry on one of the auspicious summer dates, I understand your decision. In my work, I often need to advise clients who, for whatever reason, cannot perform an important action on the best astrological date.
If you're in this situation, you could consider using creative planning to achieve your practical and astrological goals. One workaround that has worked well for my clients is to get legally married in a more private ceremony at a courthouse or a different venue on a more favorable Muhurta.
If you use this option, you still could celebrate your marriage by having a large reception in the fall at the estate that you've selected. This way, your formal marriage will happen on the best astrological date for you, and you can also have a public celebration of your marriage at your chosen venue during the more practical time.
Whatever option you choose, you might consider having a sacred Vedic fire ritual (known as a puja or yagya) performed for you and your spouse before your wedding and reception. It can really be helpful to not only enhance positive vibrations for your wedding plans and future marriage, but also to mitigate stress, worry, and conflict between the families. I know of some highly recommended puja services where I would be happy to refer you if you like.
Thanks for reaching out. I wish you the best during your wedding planning, and good fortune as you begin your new life with your spouse!
Warmly,
Juliana
I hope that you enjoyed reading my advice! Clients regularly ask me for astrologically auspicious dates to purchase homes, have surgery, start businesses, get pregnant, move, and begin other major life events. It's very common for the best date astrologically to be different from the best date practically. In these cases, I advise and collaborate with my clients to find creative workarounds that allow them to address their astrological and practical needs. So, hopefully, this advice is relevant to you, even if you aren't planning a wedding right now!